ohsolemio

Sometimes I ask myself whether I am a good person, with good I mean a wholehearted one, with a lot of defects but one certainty: feeling deeply and truly. Then I realize the bad I made was if made, accidentally, but to those whom I hurt once or twice or more times, I fell really sorry for, sometimes I don’t differ between «hearting» and hurting.

In my own way I try to do good but sometimes I know I do badly or poorly or I just don’t do anything.

I am not interested in this world, it may sound awkward but I know I lost my grip, or it is hard to be back to reality after years of suffering, and I suppose I made myself a victim telling this although I feel never a victim but a survivor.

And as survivor I see more opportunities where others see barriers. It is the good part of it or the worst, I really don’t know.

So as confused as I am I just want to conciliate with my past and live in the present and no tense.

Why am I writing nonsense?

I really don’t know but I hope, hope to be a reality and not a group of projects where I dispair.

Nevertheless I can write and express myself and I can assure it is the more peaceful feeling. I know I can’t write for the profit of myself, or by doing precisely it, I try to conciliate this times.

So sorry for those I hurt I definitely will live with the doubt whether I am bad or the worst but I suppose I don’t differ or pause in medium terms, I am or good or the worst supposing we are sometimes bad sometimes good…

What I feel is so intense I almost don’t have skin to hide from others so sincerity is not an option but I hope it to be my path of not salvation because the truth implies condemnation of others always.